Death to Dry January

I was on the six train, wedged between someone coughing into their scarf and a guy glaring at his Fitbit like it just insulted his entire family. January in New York – where it feels like everyone is collectively going through a breakup with happiness itself.

But honestly, who can blame them? January in NYC is bleak as hell. It’s cold, it’s dark, and somehow, it feels like the longest month of the year. The holiday lights have come down, and we’re left with nothing but gray skies and the quiet shame of abandoned New Year's resolutions collecting dust—much faster than that yoga mat you bought on a whim.

So, why— tell ME WHY—do so many people decide to make it worse by embracing Dry January?

For the uninitiated, Dry January is this masochistic ritual where people vow to abstain from alcohol for the entire month. And while I respect a good detox or mindful pause, some take it even further. Suddenly, it’s not just about skipping that gin and soda but eliminating all the little pleasures that make life worth living: sugar, caffeine, snacks, binge-watching TV, sleeping in on a day off. The list of self-imposed restrictions grows like some kind of Puritan fever dream.

Let me be frank— If Dry January is truly your thing and it genuinely makes you feel good, I respect that. But for those of us who see January as the Monday morning of months, adding more layers of "no" feels like volunteering for extra homework at a school you don't even go to.

It’s like people took a look at the most miserable month of the year and said, “Let’s see if we can make this even worse!” And I, for one, cannot abide.

Here's my hot take: January is about survival.It’s about holding onto those little moments of happiness when the sun decides to ghost us by mid-afternoon. Maybe that's a glass of wine with dinner. Maybe it's binge-watching an entire season of something mindless while wrapped in your softest blanket. Or it’s grabbing a cab instead of waiting 12 minutes for the next downtown F train.

So, do yourself a solid and give yourself some grace during this tough season. Embrace the little comforts that help you make it through. Your mental health will thank you. And if you’re really into challenges—try a Dry July. At least you’ll have sunshine and warm weather to keep you company!